Global Warming ... Really?

Let's Promote Global Warming

Since global warming is rapidly being disproved, and Al Gore along with his science pals may be on their way to prison for fraud, we here in the northern climes have decided that maybe it would be to our benefit to actually warm things up a bit. After all, warmer temperatures would increase the growing season and make property values rise. That's a huge benefit, right?

While Al and friends would have us fear global warming as being a precursor to the death of us all, a more realistic view would be to examine the health and welfare benefits of it. While only Al and friends would profit from the fear of a warmer globe, all the rest of us would profit from actual global warming.

Here's how Al plans to profit from the global warming scam. He sets up a corporation which sells "Carbon Credits" or "Carbon Offsets". If you are a big company with a big "Carbon Footprint" then you can pay Al to offset your big footprint by transferring some amount of your emissions to a company that has a small amount of emissions. In other words he takes your money and makes a note on a file in his computer. Nothing changes, except Al gets richer.

Here's a better idea. Send me $1,000 and I will plant a couple trees in your name. At least a tree or two will be out there working to clean up the air.

Have you heard that the US Government has actually (I am not kidding) designated CO2 as a poison gas! Yes, CO2 is the stuff you breathe out, the stuff trees absorb and convert to Oxygen, which is the stuff we breathe in. CO2 is necessary for plant growth, but the wizards in Washington have decided it will kill you, eventually. So, to summarize, eliminating CO2 would kill the plants, which in turn would kill us.

Another crack-pot scare du jour is that melting ice caps will drown us all. Really! Most of the ice at the polar caps is floating. Ice which is floating will not raise the water level when melted. Otherwise your iced tea would run over. The ice that is not floating amounts to less than 1/10th of 1 percent of the water on the planet. If it all melted we might see a rise of an inch or two. We routinely see much more flooding from rain than melting ice caps could ever produce. Maybe Al and Pals should find a way to make it stop raining!

So, bring on the global warming! Turn Anchorage into a tropical paradise and watch the economy grow to historic proportions!