An Irish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking out of a pond.
The Irish farmer shouted:
"Paid a yfed a dwr, maer gwerthin wedi cachu un a for."
Which in Gaelic means:
"Don't drink the water the cows have shit in it."
The man shouts back:
"I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Irish farmer says:
"Use two hands, it holds more"!!!