Common Republican Beliefs

Common Republican beliefs.....

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
homosexuals and Hillary Clinton

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy
when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy
when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United
Nations, and our highest national priority is
enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
own body, but multi-national corporations can make
decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise
the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans'
benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents
won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and
money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy,
but providing health care to all Americans is
socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the
best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in
schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist
support for a war in which thousands die is solid
defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which
include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's
cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is
none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's
an illness and you need our prayers for your
recovery.

You support states' rights, but Attorney General
John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter
initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital
national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is
irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to
at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck
with more Republicans in '06 and '08. Friends don't
let friends vote Republican