Saturday, March 04, 2006

New Jewish Haiku

N E W J E W I S H H A I K U


After the warm rain the sweet smell of camellias. Did you wipe your feet?


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Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name of her friend's disease.


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Today I am a man. Tomorrow I will return to the seventh grade.

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Testing the warm milk on her wrist, she sighs softly. But her son is forty.


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The sparkling blue sea reminds me to wait an hour after my sandwich.

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Lacking fins or tail the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty.

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Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table.

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Beyond Valium, the peace of knowing one's child is an internist.

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Jews on safari -- map, compass, elephant gun, hard sucking candies.

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The same kimono the top geishas are wearing: I got it at Loehmann's.

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The shivah visit: so sorry about your loss. Now back to my problems.

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Mom, please! There is no need to put that dinner roll in your pocketbook.

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Seven-foot Jews in the NBA slam-dunking! My alarm clock rings.

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Sorry I'm not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad
news.

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Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done?

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Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. Five-day forecast: --
feh!

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Passover Left the door open for the Prophet Elijah. Now our cat is gone.

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Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. Schlemiel. Schlimazel. Meshuganah Oy! To be fluent!

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Quietly murmured at Shabbatt services: Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

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A lovely nose ring, excuse me while I put my head in the oven.

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Hard to tell under the lights. White Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness.

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