The Fireproof Penis

Posted by jewishindy on Monday, August 15 @ 19:25:01 EDT
By Beth GoodtreeAugust 15, 2005


Having listened to the pundits and experts on Islamic suicide bombings, these narrowly-focused authorities all seem to miss one glaring point: a desire for debauchery. Take unrelenting hatred, a lust for the depraved and a religion that promises utterly unspiritual orgies of alcohol and sex and you often get a genocidal suicide bomber.

In a symposium held by FrontPage magazine, Dr. Hans-Peter Raddatz, a scholar of Islamic Studies and author of a number of books, including Von Allah zum Terror? Der Djihad und die Deformierung des Westens (From Allah to Terror? Jihad and the Western Deformation), made the following revelation regarding these bombers:

“Some of the Palestinian suicide bombers wrap their penises into fire-proof aluminum foil to save them for the pleasures to come.’’(1)

Naturally, this begs us to question the Muslim contention that we worship the same one G-d.


Jews and Christians all say “There is no God but God.“ We’ll even say it in any other language you’d prefer: Il n'y a aucun Dieu mais un Dieu, não há nenhum Deus mas Deus, er zijn geen God maar God. Be it French, Portuguese, Dutch or any language of your choosing, we will say it in the exact words of that language.

But not the Muslims.

Ask most Muslims (Sufis are one exception to this) and they’ll profess that they believe in the one God we do, but will absolutely refuse to say it. Instead, they say “There is no God but ALLAH.”

Although they insist that ALLAH merely means ‘God’ in Arabic, one must ask then why won’t they then say ‘God’ in another language?

The reason is that, in true Muslim form, they are using the holy ploy of lying, known as al-Taqiyya, to confuse one’s enemies -- in this case anyone who is a non-Muslim is considered an enemy. They tell us that ALLAH means ‘God;’ they do not tell us that their version of God is the diametric opposite from ours. Their ALLAH-god celebrates what we consider to be evil incarnate.

Our God does not have a Heaven filled with every carnal vice. Our spirits are beyond fleshly perversions. In fact, according to Judeo-Christian philosophy (as well as other religions), it is only in the realms known to be inhabited by demons and the ultimate evil that sexual orgies, fornication, drunkenness and every other twisting of moral laws is said to take place.

But not according to most Muslims, who hand out candy every time a Jew is blown up, or some ‘Crusader’ site is rocked by explosions and carnage.

However, not only are their religious beliefs directly opposed to ours, their philosophy surrounding it is totally without logic. The whole concept of a fireproof penis proves this.

Logically, how can one fornicate unless one has arms, legs, a torso and even a head? Are they to be disembodied penises, ripping through 72 poor virgins again and again for all eternity? And if their ALLAH will supposedly restore their bodies once dead, why not the penis? Show me where in the Koran or Hadiths it says this.

So now we come to all those fireproof penises that supposedly forced Israel to turn her own citizens into refugees by stealing their homes, lands and businesses and turning them over, with no quid pro quo, to the very people who have been mercilessly and unrelentingly attacking them.
There are the children of Noga Cohen, who luckily escaped one fireproof penis suicide/genocide murderer only to succumb to his hate-filled compatriots.(2) Three of her children had their legs blown off while on their way to school from the town of Kfar Darom. Their school bus was sprayed by shrapnel from a mortar shell fired by Arab Palestinian terrorists bent upon killing off Jewish children as a way to commit genocide on the Jewish people by murdering their future generation.

In the end, Ariel Sharon, ever safe from fireproof penis genocidal murderers, has decided to give in to them. We may expect to see more fireproof penis murders, but this time in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Ashdod and the like. After all, just this past week, the leaders of the Arabs occupying Jewish Palestine just said that Gaza is merely the beginning.

Meanwhile Ariel Sharon and his buddies, who plan to establish a private casino on the ashes of the Jewish towns he singlehandedly destroyed, will probably sell these fireproof penis bombers the aluminum foil.

End Notes
(1) http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=19110
(2) http://www.guardian.co.uk/israel/Story/0,2763,400724,00.html

Beth Goodtree is a popular writer covering Middle East politics, national interests and also writes the occasional science and humor pieces. Her website is Ms. Goodtree is a regular valued contributor to JewishIndy. Beth is also the inventor of the Mazel Tov Cocktail: Start with some nice Kosher wine, add a bissele Cel-Ray tonic, serve with a cherry in a fancy-shmancy clean glass, and say this toast: "May my enemies be wealthy beyond dreams, may they have houses with 50 bedrooms, and may they not get a single good night's sleep in any one of them!"

She may be reached at Bgoodtree@AOL.com.Website: Click here: Beth Goodtree