Mail Call Press Conference ...

My hero....................................



USMC PRESS CONFERENCE For the few of you who missed him, R. Lee Ermey is
the host of The History Channel's "Mail Call" and played the Drill
Instructor in the movie, "Full Metal Jacket." He is a retired Marine
Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read.

So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee
Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the
Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq insurgent to death.

We pick up as the reporter asks about how this potential war crime will
affect our image in the world:


Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-ASSED QUESTION IS THAT?"

Reporter 1: "Well I think...."

Ermey: "THINK, FANCY BOY?! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF
YOUR SHOULDERS, MORON: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
ME??? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD; SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT
OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN
CUSHION!!! NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."

Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is
important?

Ermey: "OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP
WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODDAMNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I
HAVE HAD TO WEEP BECAUSE SOME SHIT EATING TERRORIST F***** MIGHT BE MAD
AT US, BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FORSAKEN HOLE IN THE SHIT THAT
HE LIVES IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS
THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR
STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY
YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!! YEAH, I KNOW WHA T YOU ARE THINKING.
YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINKING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE
AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT
YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T
HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!! DO YOU
HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO
CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!! NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE
UGLY-ASSED TIE. LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS."

Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by this?"

Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!!
WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU
HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING
QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND
HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!! YOU WANNA
KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF
GRABASSTIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST
TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT
CHICKEN-SHIT PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE
ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"

Reporter 3: "I . "

Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING,
NUMBNUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY-HOLE IN
THAT SHIT-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF
YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
SHOELACES!!!!"

Marine DI's have a language all their own. God bless them all!!